After two years, the book I’d written was done. Nearly 40 years of leadership experience, finally on the page.
I still needed one more thing. A way to distill something very abstract into something tangible. An easy way for leaders to understand the importance of relentless improvement at…leading. A reminder that leaders can never stop learning and developing. A reclaiming of the forgotten, yet critical skills and behaviors that only the most effective leaders understood. The beginning of a grand pursuit.
That was a mouthful. I needed something that brought it all together, but with far fewer words.
My eyes glazed over. Hundreds of words and phrases on sticky notes, scratch pads and Word documents. And just like that one gnat you can’t ever seem to swat, it eluded me.
My inner monologue said, “Sorry, I’ve got nuthin’.” But I wasn’t going to give up. So, I went back to the beginning. What do I know? What facts can I build a foundation from?
First, employee engagement survey data was clearly painting an ugly picture. Engagement at a 10-year low, and it was crappy to begin with. That’s bad.
Next, management used to benefit from an “engagement premium.” Whatever the employee engagement number was, management engagement was usually nine to eleven points higher. Those numbers are roughly the same now, and the management stats have sunk faster since 2022 than ever before. That’s really bad.
Finally, employee engagement is influenced more by how employees feel about their boss than anything else. So, the people responsible for fixing the problem are suffering as badly as the people they’re supposed to help. That’s downright frightening.
After a long career leading people in multiple companies, roles and cultures, I’d witnessed it firsthand. Leaders were crushing the spirit of the people they led. Those leaders were contending with stresses that no one could have been prepared for.
The post-pandemic remote and hybrid work environment altered most of the interactions with our people and made them electronic. The competitive landscape in all arenas had become more intense. And then there was the specter of AI and what it might mean for white-collar work.
And those things sat on top of all the usual stressors that come with leadership like achieving big goals, tight timelines, quality metrics, personnel issues, on and on.
The reality is that leading people has never been harder, or less satisfying.
Meanwhile, the so-called experts in the field of leadership thinking offer nothing but platitudes as their cure. Hardly surprising since the overwhelming majority of them have never spent one minute doing the jobs that they claim to be experts in. They say, “Your problem is that you lack authenticity. You’re not vulnerable enough. You have low empathy and sensitivity.” It’s like getting marriage counseling from someone who’s never even been on a date.
Those TED Talk Therapists critique our emotional states. They never experienced the stress that compounds daily, coupled with a crippling lack of support that leaders endure. Emotions were never the root cause. Yes, they impact our behaviors, but none of those authors and speakers can correctly answer the most important question: why do all these leaders feel this way?
It’s because we weren’t holding ourselves accountable for the foundational skills all good leaders possess and the negative behaviors we need to purge. Without those tools to help our people, the resulting frustrations, combined with pressure to perform, turn into stress behaviors. Short tempers. Berating people. Bad outcomes for everyone involved. That’s the reason I wrote MISLED: Why (Almost) Everything We Learned About Leadership Is Wrong, And How To Fix It.
That’s an intentionally long lead-up to the fact that it’s up to us to go fix what’s broken and make ourselves better.
And that’s also why I had to come up with the right words to move us forward. I had this primal urge to tell the world that even though the things that make an effective, capable leader had been hidden away, kept secret, and left for dead, we could bring these arcane things back to life.
Wait a minute. That word. Arcane. What does it mean again? A quick online search said, “known or knowable only to a few people.” Ooh. Lightbulb on.
I put it on my screen in all caps, in very large font. Yes. That’s it!
But wait, it gets better.
As if by some kind of divine intervention, words popped into my head that just seemed to fit. Aspiration. Reflection. Commitment. Action. Evolution. The only one missing from making this one of the coolest acronyms in acronym history was the N.
Negative, notable, new, network, neutralize…ugh. All bad. Horrible actually.
So I laid it out: Aspire, Reflect, Commit, Act, who-the-heck-knows, and Evolve. The one piece was still MIA. Again, back to the facts. What happens after you act on these new, formerly secret things? Well, there are no overnight success stories. You’ll always have to overcome challenges and navigate past roadblocks. Ohhhh baby. There it is. Navigate. It’s exactly what this grand pursuit needed. The ability to push past the inevitable difficulties that come with transformative change. Boom.
I built it all out.
Aspire to be better for your people
The first step down a new path. Leadership is about getting your work done through other people. Those people need a leader who can help them and make them better. This is how we filter out the leaders who shouldn’t be leaders.
Reflect on what you must do
True reflection, from unfiltered external feedback, is the ego’s arch enemy. If it doesn’t sting, you’re kidding yourself. This is the high-def mirror where you clearly see the space between the leader you are and the one you can be.
Commit to transformative changes
This is where it gets real. You document all the skills, competencies, and behaviors that you need to add, change or delete. It’s the compass that provides direction toward becoming a better leader. Choose two things to focus on. Then…
Act on your words
Action is where most leadership improvement initiatives go to die. Why? Because it’s hard! But action is also where progress really begins. Just start.
Navigate through challenges to move forward
The true test of your commitment to yourself and your people. Everyone backslides, and many feel like they can’t get through it. It’s all normal. Grind. Find a way past it.
Evolve into a better leader
Celebrate every step forward. Even the ones that barely register. New skills, behavioral improvements. That is success. Give yourself credit. Then, when you’re ready to move on, attack what’s next on your list.
Everything fell into place. It’s not a tool, a framework, or a platform. It’s a grand pursuit. A head-first jump into the deep end of the pool reserved for those who want to be better leaders. An investment in you. In fact, I couldn’t imagine a better use of your precious time and energy.
Will change come quickly? Usually not. Will there be ups and downs? Absolutely. Will your people always notice every improvement? Doesn’t matter. Because you’ll know. And you can take pride in the work and every small step you take in this grand pursuit toward your aspiration.
